Why we need feminism

In celebration of Women's Equality Day in the good ol' USA, I figured it was high time to discuss feminism, and why I (and all women) still need it in 2013.

First off: some common misconceptions that generally surround the term "feminist."
- Living on the fringe of society
- Man haters
- Lesbians (While clearly some members of the LBGTQ community are feminists, it would be a huge fallacy to say that all feminists are lesbians.  I understand that this has caused some confusion in my family regarding my sexuality, so I figured it was time to clear this up.)
- An anti-family political movement that encourages men to leave their husbands.*
- Bearded women with zero sense of personal hygiene or "femininity:
- Virgin prudes who turn to feminism as an excuse for not sleeping with men.

While these clearly aren't all the stereotypes that are associated with feminists, they tend to be the ones that I hear the most.

Both myself and a number of my good friends identify as very strong feminists, but do not fit these stereotypes at all.  First off, we go to what is possibly the most white-washed, WASPy university in all of Canada, and have some of the most incredibly "typical" life plans that you could imagine (go to grad school and/or get a job, make babies, and live out our mundane lives in the hell that is Canadian suburbia.)  Secondly, we certainly don't hate men; 5 minutes listening in on our conversations, and you'll probably hear some sort of worship of a beautiful man happen a minimum of 3 times (I may or may not have a mini shrine to Ryan Gosling and Dr. Avery in my bedroom).  Thirdly, we are all very "clean cut," "feminine" girls.  One of my best friends loves pink a little more than is natural, and most of us wear a full face of makeup every day.  We shower regularly, and are constantly recommending different beauty products to each other.

None of these facts about us conflict our feminist identity; in fact, I think they enforce it.  We are only able to do these things because of feminism.  Sixty years ago, most of us wouldn't have even had the chance to attend a university, and if we had, we would have been discriminated against and mocked by our male peers. We certainly would not have had the chance to be high achieving students at one of the highest-ranked schools in our country, and the possibility of attending grad school and aiming for a well-respected, well-payed job would have been out of the question.  We also would have likely been ostracized for openly discussing our sexual preferences and attractions to different men in public (i.e. where we now say "the things I would do to him," in the past would have been "well, he's a rather becoming gentleman I suppose."  Not quite the same effect.)  Building a Ryan Gosling shrine would have been out of the question, as it would have been offensive to our boyfriends/husbands to openly admire other men.  As for the makeup: we have been lucky to grow up in a time where we have the freedom to experiment with our beauty choices. If I wake up tomorrow and feel like wearing turquoise eyeliner, then I will do it; not because I think it will help attract a man, but instead because it's a personal expression of my ownership over my own face and body.

We are only able to do these things because of feminists and their efforts towards women's liberation.  But if we now have all of these freedoms, why do we still need feminism?

Two words: Miley Cyrus.

I didn't bother myself with the VMA's, but woke up this morning to see twitter/facebook/all social media and news outlets firing up over Miley's performance.  People calling her a slut, claiming that Hannah Montana is dead, and that she has no self respect.  Blogger Kevin Hart wrote that she had "better get a pregnancy test after all that twerkin'."  Her performance has been described as racy, raunchy, offensive, nasty, etc.

After checking it out for myself, my reaction was pretty different.  My first thought was "wow, good for her.  I'd never, ever, even in a million years have enough confidence in my body to run around basically naked for the whole world to see."  My second thought was questioning whether she was drunk, because that's the only time I stick my tongue out that frequently.  Sure, I wouldn't want my 11 year old sister to watch that performance and get any ideas, there was nothing intrinsically "wrong" with it from my point of view.**  Yes, her dance was sexual.  But it was her choice to do it, just as it was her choice to wear a racy outfit, and her choice to stick her tongue out like a panting dog.  Maybe she isn't educated enough in feminist theory to know what the implications of singing "Blurred Lines" are, but that isn't what she's been receiving criticism for.  She is being criticized for acting "like a slut."

Now, why is it that Miley has received so much public criticism for owning her sexuality on stage, yet criticism of Robin Thicke's open endorsement of rape culture through his lyrics has been widely celebrated?  Why is it okay for a man to sing about a woman "wanting" to sleep with him, yet the moment a woman acts as if she has some sort of sexual tendencies, it becomes unacceptable?

According to numerous dictionaries, a slut is "a slovenly or promiscuous woman."  A whore is "a promiscuous woman." A tart is "a prostitute or promiscuous woman."  On searching for promiscuous, the definition was "having many sexual relationships," yet almost every example given used female pronouns (i.e. she's a wild, promiscuous girl).  Where is the derogatory term about promiscuous men?  Moreover, why is promiscuity such a negative thing for a woman?

This is why we still need feminism.  Because men are allowed to speak openly about their sexuality and endorse rape culture, but women are still slut-shamed if they try to own their bodies and publicly express their physicality.  In my opinion, being a slut isn't a bad thing at all.  It simply means that a person is willing to experiment and have a wide variety of sexual experiences in order to find out what they like.  Most importantly, they are in control of their bodies, and are making the decision themselves to sleep with "X" number of people.  One should be able to make the choice to be a slut or not to be a slut without having to fear persecution.  It should not be a term only associated with women, but should be equally as applicable to men.

Women should be entitled to the same ownership of their sexuality that men have.  That means ending rape-culture and slut shaming.  Unfortunately, there are so many negative connotations flying around that most women refuse to identify as feminists.  Ultimately, feminism is about women's liberation and equality.  While leaps and bounds have been made in many of spheres, I think it's safe to say that when it comes to intimate relations, we still have miles to go.  That's why I still need feminism.

*Quote from Pat Robertson, a former Baptist minister during his GOP convention speech in 1992.
**Barring, of course, Miley's use of racial appropriation to sell a song.  Yes, I get this, but also do think that it's cultural elitism to claim that only african-americans are allowed to twerk.  If Miley wants to twerk, she can twerk.  However, she shouldn't just use her (only black) backup dancers as props the way she does, but that's a whole other can of worms, and, having grown up surrounded in white privilege, I don't really have the right to comment on this.